Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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