Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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