i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize