id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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