you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
