The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
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she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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