theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize