I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
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i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
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Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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