i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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