My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
