shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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