She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
