Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
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Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
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She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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