Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
