This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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