i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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