We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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