Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
