Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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