Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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