a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
