You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
