i jhust puked up my retainher.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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