My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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