i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
