If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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