Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
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the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
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Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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