We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
