I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
