I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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