At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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