i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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