I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
