I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
