apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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