Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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