There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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