he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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