i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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