I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
