Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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