The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
