Dual....:-)
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
