my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
