R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
