I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
