He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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