dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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