I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Randomize
