this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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