Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
