David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
