stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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