why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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