So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
